Shout and Swear, it can change your Depression Story
As human beings, we love to tell ourselves stories which mitigate against the true impact of reality.  I remember talking to an individual who had “found” her husband in bed with her “best friend.” When I asked her how she felt she said “not very good.” Clearly, since she believed she was in a loving relationship, there should have been hurt, anger, betrayal etc, but she had disassociated herself from the full emotional impact.
This same trait is in evidence with clients seeking assistance with depression. They have developed a story using conscious logic, which broadly explains the reasons they feel depressed e.g. “I don’t feel good enough, because I have always felt like a failure.” Viewing life through this prism allows them to slowly but surely formulate a depressive state and accompanying story.
It is critical that therapy, challenges this presupposition and the story an individual has come to believe, to facilitate a re-engagement with a client’s emotions so that they can be fully expressed again.
When you ask clients when they noticed they were depressed, a common reply is that it appeared to just happen almost overnight or that there was an event which triggered the depression. Clearly this is highly unlikely to be the case given the number of different and long term components necessary to maintain depression e.g. disassociation from your emotions, buried anger, the establishment an explanatory story, silence, resignation, fear/panic, tiredness, confusion, withdrawal etc
Depression is a choice we subconsciously make, when our access to our personal resources are inhibited or compromised. This is never justification for the statement “pull yourself together.” Therefore it is vital to identify and resolve the stages by which depression was established and to generate subconscious strategies to prevent its re-emergence once it has been fully dealt with.
Another key aspect is to identify those areas of our life which generate our passion(s) and to re-establish this link so that through passion and re-engagement with other people we are again able to move forward in life. Hypnotherapy and Coaching techniques provide the means to do this.
 
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New Year, New You
It is that time again, when we feel that we should have a New Year’s resolution to give ourselves a new beginning. Sadly it is too easy to be swept along by the enthusiasm of our peers and an over reliance on the “wish” to succeed. There is, like many things in life, a need to plan the change we are seeking.
Whether you want to stop smoking or lose weight, decide the time you want to start from e.g. probably not a good idea to start to lose weight on Christmas or New Year’s Eve or to stop smoking before going to a party to celebrate the New Year. Chose a time when you are busy with as little stress as possible, accepting that some level of stress is inevitable. It is generally a mistake to wait for days off or a holiday because you then have the added problem of occupying your mind to avoid over thinking about the change you are seeking to make.
Look to anticipate the kinds of issues or problems you may encounter e.g. decrease in calories or loss of patience. There is a solution! Have a supply of healthy eating options e.g. fruit pieces, cut vegetable pieces etc. If you are concerned about a loss of patience with loved ones or colleagues, take a short time out break, complete a short exercise burst. If these are really impossible, practice breathing as deeply as you can for a couple of minutes. These strategies will assist you when you need to use them.
Generally you should avoid substitutes e.g. low calorie foods or patches as they delay the changes in your taste buds which are essential for long term weight loss or they elongate the dependency on nicotine.
A powerful tool is to take five minutes, ideally twice every day, to sit down with your eyes closed, breathe deeply and imagine yourself as the person who has lost weight or stopped smoking. You need to use your imagination to begin to feel proud of the change you have made, see yourself in different situations, hear the positive comments your friends and loved ones are making about you, imagine the impact of the change on your health, finances, choices etc.
If you find that after a few days or one or two weeks you are still struggling with the changes you want to make. Firstly congratulate yourself for making such a positive decision and staying with it without assistance.  However you should now consider the assistance of a professional hypnotherapist, who will assist you to uncover the emotional drivers for the problem and teach you hypnotic strategies to run your life in a more effective way thereby assisting you achieve success.
It is important that as a human being that throughout our lives we have benefited from help and assistance and addressing and achieving a New Year’s resolution is no different, so be proud of the decision you have made and the success you will achieve.
 
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Imagine a better relationship
At times like Christmas or family gatherings or workplace functions etc we have to spend time with people who annoy us or make us angry or make us anxious. Learn a technique to re frame how you feel, change your reaction through greater understanding of the cause of our discomfort.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5766WEuuyoA
 
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Free yourself with the Wants Needs Analysis
Focus on how "Wants" obscure what our real "Needs" are. This has implications for our relationship with money, our capacity to start a new business, move forward with a new idea, relationships etc. 
Once you realise the difference between "wants" and "needs" moving forward becomes much easier.

https://youtu.be/LNclOkIdi9A
 
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Domestic Violence, the hidden epidemic
The Discovery Show special on Friday 18 March 2016 from 17.30 – 20.00 on Floradio (www.floradio.co.uk/) will focus on Domestic violence.
 

When you read this blog, you will like me, I feel certain, wonder why the sheer scale of the problem does not attract greater media attention and realise there is a need for action. I regularly work with adults who have or are suffering this experience and with adults whose childhood was blighted by this backdrop. The time for discussion and action is now.

Guests include:
  • Simon Parr, a police officer for 32 years, serving in Sussex Hertfordshire and Cambridgeshire where he was Chief Constable for five years.  Despite big  budget cuts he invested heavily in a specialist unit to deal with the most vulnerable victims of crime, particularly victims of domestic violence.
  • Anna is a woman, in her forties with one child. After suffering years of both physical  and mental abuse from her husband she found the courage to leave. She continue to suffer at the hands of this man for a further 5yrs but has now found freedom. 
If you have any points to raise or observations or questions prior to the show, please send them via email to:

davidowen@floradio.co.uk

Who is affected?
 
 
It happens to all people whether men, women, or transsexual and whether heterosexual, gay or bi. Although we hear most often about women. The Office for National Statistics (ONS) survey (2014) estimated that in 2014:
  • 1.4 million women and 700,000 men have suffered domestic abuse
The ONS states domestic violence is at the following levels:
  • 4.9 million women, or 28%
  • 2.4 million men, or nearly 15%
The Stonewall Research (2012) estimates domestic violence in gay relationships is nearer 37%, and may exceed the level of domestic violence in straight relationships:
  • 49% of gay and bisexual men have experienced at least one incident of domestic abuse from a family member or partner since the age of 16, compared to 17% of men in general.
  • 37% of gay and bisexual men have experienced at least one incident of domestic abuse in a relationship with a man.
  • 23% of gay and bisexual men have experienced domestic abuse from a family member since the age of 16.
  • 78% of gay and bisexual men who have experienced domestic abuse have never reported incidents to the police. (53% were not happy with how the police dealt with the situation.)
Gay women experience domestic violence at a very similar rate to that of heterosexual women (Waldner-Haygrud, 1997; AVP, 1992):
  • Between 17-45% of lesbian women have been the victim of at least one act of violence perpetrated by a female partner (Burke et al, 1999; Lie et al, 1991)
  • 30% of lesbian women have reported sexual assault / rape by another woman (Renzetti, 1992).
The problem is not caused by a gender, sexuality or race, but by people.

 

What is it? (Victims Support)
  • Physical abuse:
  • Pushing, hitting, punching, kicking, choking and using weapons.
  • Sexual abuse:
  • Forcing or pressuring someone to have sex (rape), unwanted sexual activity, touching, groping someone or making them watch pornography.
  • Financial abuse:
  • Taking money, controlling finances, not letting someone work.
  • Emotional/psychological abuse:
  • Making someone feel bad or scared, stalking, blackmailing, constantly checking up on someone, playing mind games.
The Cycle of Abuse (from New Hope), involves 3 phases:

Tension-Building Phase:
  • The victim senses tension and fears an outburst.
  • The victim tries to calm the abuser down and may “walk on eggshells” to avoid any major violent confrontations.
Violent Episode:
  • Outbursts of violent, abusive incidents by the perpetrator.
  • The abuser attempts to dominate his/her partner with the use of violence.
  • Includes physical or other types of abuse.
Reconciliation:
  • The abusive partner shows affection or offers an apology, with the appearance of an “end” to the violence.
  • The perpetrator shows overwhelming feelings of remorse and sadness.
  • Some abusers walk away from the situation, while others shower their victims with love and affection.
Common Myth:
Perpetrators just “lost control” when they emotionally or physically abuse their partners. This is not true. Domestic violence is the exact opposite of losing control. Perpetrators know what they are doing and use their abusive tactics of choice to maintain dominance in the relationship. Common excuses that abusers may use:
  • “It wasn’t me, it was the alcohol/drugs”, etc.
  • “You made me do it”, “You know how to push my buttons” or “You know how to get me going”
  • “I didn’t mean it”
  • “I just lost control”
  • “I won’t do it again”
More Myths
  • It only happens in poor families on council estates.
  • More women would leave if the abuse was that bad.
  • Abusers grow up in violent homes.
  • Some women like violence.
  • Women ask for it. They deserve what they get
  • Abusive men have a mental illness. They can’t help what they do.
  • He only hit her because he was under stress.
  • He loses his temper sometimes, that’s all.
  • Domestic violence is a private matter, you shouldn’t get involved.
 
Causes (Refuge):
There is no single cause of domestic violence. It comes from a combination of factors, including society’s attitudes, community responses, and the individual psychology experiences of the abuser and the abused.
Domestic violence is the result of an abuser’s desire for power and control. Women are considered less important by many in our society and this creates an imbalance of power between the sexes. As a result male abusers are too often allowed to get away with their actions.
 
The Impact (statistics supplied by Refuge)
  • 2 women are killed every week in England and Wales by a current or former partner (Office of National Statistics, 2015)
  • 1 in 4 women in England and Wales will experience domestic violence in their lifetimes (Crime Survey of England and Wales, 2013/14)
  • Globally, 1 in 3 women will experience violence at the hands of a male partner (State of the World’s Fathers Report, MenCare, 2015)
  • Domestic violence has a higher rate of repeat victimisation than any other crime (Home Office, July 2002)
  • Every minute police in the UK receive a domestic assistance call – yet only 35% of domestic violence incidents are reported to the police (Stanko, 2000 & Home Office, 2002)
  • The 2001/02 British Crime Survey (BCS) found that there were an estimated 635,000 incidents of domestic violence in England and Wales. 81% of the victims were women and 19% were men. Domestic violence incidents also made up nearly 22% of all violent incidents reported by participants in the BCS (Home Office, July 2002)
  • On average, a woman is assaulted 35 times before her first call to the police (Jaffe, 1982)
Children
  • 25% of children in the UK have been exposed to domestic abuse (Radford et al. NSPCC, 2011)
  • In 90% of domestic violence incidents in family households, children were in the same or the next room (Hughes, 1992)
  • 62% of children in households where domestic violence is happening are also directly harmed (SafeLives, 2015)
 
Health
  • 30% of domestic violence either starts or will intensify during pregnancy (Department of Health report, October 2004)
  • Foetal illness from violence is more prevalent than gestational diabetes or pre-eclampsia (Friend, 1998)
Cost to society
In November 2009, Sylvia Walby of the University of Leeds estimated the total costs of domestic violence to be £15.7 billion a year.  This is broken down as follows:
  • The costs to services (Criminal Justice System, health, social services, housing, civil legal) amount to £3.8 billion per year
  • The loss to the economy – where women take time off work due to injuries – is £1.9 billion per year
  • Domestic violence also leads to pain and suffering that is not counted in the cost of services.  The human and emotional costs of domestic violence amount to almost £10 billion per year
Rosie Batty, a real example:
In 2015, Rosie Batty became Australian of the Year. You can see the link to here acceptance speech below:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIr85479R2k

Ms Batty gained the award after she emerged as a leading voice calling on Australians to confront the problem of domestic violence and abuse and the devastating toll that violence by men was wreaking on Australian women and families.
Ms Batty came to national prominence through her own tragic experience. Her 11-year-old son Luke was murdered by his father and her former partner in 2014.
Her tireless efforts as an advocate for wholesale change to the approach to family violence made her a candidate for Australian of the Year.
 
 
Support and Resources:

24-hour National Domestic Violence  Freephone Helpline (in conjunction with Women’s Aid and Refuge)-
0808 2000 247
www.refuge.org.uk
www.womensaid.org.uk

Police
Domestic Violence unit or 999

Herts Sunflower Organisation – Backed by Herts Police & Herts Safeguarding Children Board
http://www.hertssunflower.org/
Domestic Violence & Abuse Helpline
08088 088 088


Broken Rainbow – Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transsexual
www.brokenrainbow.org.uk
0300 999 5428
Opening Times: Monday & Thursday 10am – 8pm, Tuesday & Wednesday 10am – 5pm

Men’s Advice line
0808 801 0327 (free from landlines and most mobiles)
Monday - Friday 9am - 5pm
www.mensadviceline.org.uk

Southall Black Sisters
Provides information, advice, advocacy, practical help, counselling and support to Asian, African-Caribbean and other minority women and children experiencing domestic and sexual violence in a wide range of languages
Helpline: 0208 571 0800 (Monday – Friday 9am – 5pm)
www.southallblacksisters.org.uk

Samaritans
www.samaritans.org
08457 90 90 90
Opening Times: Daily, open 24 hours a day.

Respect
Runs support services and programmes for men and women who inflict violence in relationships.  They also provide an advice line for men who are victims of domestic violence.
www.respectphoneline.org.uk
0808 802 4040
Opening Times: Monday – Friday 9am - 5pm
 
The Discovery Show special on Friday 19 March from 18.00 – 20.00 on Floradio (www.floradio.co.uk) will focus on Domestic violence.

Guests include:
  • Simon Parr ex senior Police Officer who is passionate about addressing this subject
  • An individual who has experienced the disruptive and devastating impact of this problem and has regained control of their life.
If you have any points to raise or observations or questions prior to the show, please send them via email to:

davidowen@floradio.co.uk
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The Roseto Effect
The Roseto Effect

HEALTH AND CULTURE - 1960's experiment in Roseto, USA

People are nourished by other people. The importance of social networks in health and longevity has been confirmed again by study of a close-knit Italian-American community in Roseto, Pennsylvania. At first blush, Roseto seems a diorama of what once was the nation's ideal lifestyle-neighbors who looked after one another, civic-minded joiners and doers who formed the grass roots of American-style democracy. It seems to showcase those virtues that have all but disappeared elsewhere in what has become what we are now--a nation of strangers.

At one time the village came to be a living laboratory demonstrating that neighborliness is good not just for the body politic (community) for the human body (self) as well. Now Roseto is changing, becoming a community of suburban commuters with satellite dishes, fenced-in yards, and expensive cars.

Thirty years earlier, medical researchers were drawn to Roseto by a bewildering statistic: in defiance of medical logic, Rosetans seemed nearly immune to one of the most common causes of death. They died of heart attacks at a rate only half of the rest of America. Doctors were mystified in that residents led what medical textbooks predicted would be short lives.

The men of the village smoked and drank wine freely. They spent their days in backbreaking, hazardous labor, working 200 feet down in nearby slate quarries. At home, the dinner tables each evening were laden with traditional Italian food, modified for local ingredients in ways that would drive a dietitian to despair.

The Mediterranean diet, with its use of olive oil rather than animal fat, has been touted lately for health benefits. But, poor immigrants couldn't afford to import cooking oil from their homeland and instead fry their sausages and brown their meatballs in lard. Yet, the resulting hefty bodies contained unusually health hearts. Why?

A RESEARCH OPPORTUNITY

Study of the "Roseto Effect" began with a chance conversation over a couple of beers. A local physician happened to mention to the head of medicine at the University of Oklahoma that heart disease seemed much less prevalent in Roseto than in adjoining Bangor, occupied by non-Italians.

When first studied in 1966, Roseto's cardiac mortality traced a unique graph. Nationally, the rate rises with age. In Roseto, it dropped to near zero for men aged 55-64. For men over 65, the local death rate was half the national average.

The study quickly went beyond death certificates, to poke, prod, and extensively interview the Rosetans. Instead of helping to solve the puzzle, all the data simply ruled out any genetic or other physical sources of the Rosetan's resistance to heart disease. Two statistics about Roseto were eye-catching: Both the crime rate and the applications for public assistance were zero.

HEALTH AND SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS

Subsequent study showed that all of the houses contained three generations of the family. Rosetans took care of their own. Instead of putting the elderly "on the shelf," they were elevated "to the Supreme Court." The scientists were led to conclude that the Roseto Effect was caused by something that could not be seen through the microscope, something beyond the usual focus of medical researchers.

It seemed that those groaning dinner tables offered nourishment for the human spirit as well as the body. In fact, all of the communal rituals--the evening stroll, the many social clubs, the church festivals that were occasions for the whole community to celebrate--contributed to the villagers' good health.

In "The Power of Clan," an updated report on studies by Stewart Wolf, a physician, and John Bruhn, a sociologist, cover a broad period of time from 1935 to 1984. They found that mutual respect and cooperation contribute to the health and welfare of a community and its inhabitants, and that self indulgence and lack of concern for others exert opposite influences.

Tracing the history of Roseto, the sociologists found that early immigrants were shunned by the English and Welsh who dominated this little corner of eastern Pennsylvania. According, the Rosetans turned inward and built their own culture of cooperation and as Wolf and Bruhn noted, "radiated a kind of joyous team spirit as they celebrated religious festivals and family landmarks."

"People are nourished by other people," said Wolf, noting that the characteristics of tight-knit community are better predictors of healthy hearts than are low levels of serum cholesterol or tobacco use. He explained that an isolated individual may be overwhelmed by the problems of everyday life. Such a person internalized that feeling as stress which, in turn, can adversely affect everything from blood pressure to kidney function. That, however, is much less likely to be the outcome when a person is surrounded by caring friends, neighbors and relatives. The sense of being supported reduces stress and the disease stress engenders.

"We looked at the social structure of healthy communities," Wolf said, "and found that they are characterized by stability and predictability. In those communities, each person has a clearly defined role in the social scheme."

Into the 1960s, Roseto was the epitome of predictability and conformity. In clothing, housing or automobiles, any display of wealth was taboo. Women knew that, from their teens on, they would work in one of the many small blouse factories scattered throughout the village. Even the evening meal followed a rigid cycle.

"Monday" recalled 66-year old Angie Martocci, "almost everyone in town ate spezzati (a spinach and egg soup). Tuesdays, it was spaghetti and gravy (tomato sauce). Wednesday was roast chicken and potatoes. Thursday, spaghetti again. Fish on Fridays, of course. Veal and peppers on Saturday; and antipasto, meatballs and spaghetti on Sunday."

All of that conformity reduced the distance between the haves and have-nots, thereby reinforcing everyone's sense of conformity also spared Rosetans the stress that comes with freedom of choice. (My comment: the anthropologist David Maybury-Lewis in his video series Millenium that individuals in a tribal society grow up in a defined world where people know their place and their relationship to others. We grow up with freedom, he says, in a limitless world where we are often lost and terribly alone.)

Possibly the strongest conformity in the village was the work ethic. No only did everyone work here, they worked toward a common goal--a better life for their children. The reverence for work was the legacy of Roseto's first priest, Rev. Pasquale de Nisco. Arriving in 1896, De Nisco practiced what he preached. Taking up a pick and shovel, he started clearing ground next to the church to build the graveyard, where he now lies. Above all, De Nisco, whose influence is still strong in Roseto, preached education.

THE EFFECT FADES

In the slate quarries and blouse factories, the men and women of Roseto labored to be able to send their children to college, which they did at a rate far above the national average. By World War II, Roseto had a small white-collar class and was prospering. And of course with that, life began to change.

Wolf and Bruhn's study took place just as Roseto's golden age of community was drawing to a close. They were able to predict that Rosetans then under 30 would not long be content with their rigid, traditional lifestyle. By the '70s, homes on the outskirts of town were in the suburbanized style that had become the American norm: large single family houses, swimming pools, fenced years, country clubs, and churches outside of the community.

As people moved and achieved material success, they found those gains at the expense of traditional communal values with which they have been raised. One person said, "I'm sorry we moved; everything is modern here and we have everything I need here, except people."

The principal of the elementary school said that children's lives changed. They went from days filled with activities to lives of watching from the sidelines. She found she had to teach children how to play jacks and marbles. The strongest evidence that change had come to Roseto was in 1985 when the town's coronet band, founded in 1890, demanded for the first time to be paid for playing at the church's big festival.

As Wolf and his colleagues continued to monitor the health of the community, they noted that social change in the village was accompanied by increasing health problems. In 1971, the first heart attack death of a person less than 45 occurred in Roseto.

Nationally, the Americans' vulnerability to heart attack began to decline because of the widespread adoption of exercise programs and healthier diet. At the same time, the Rosetan's rate rose to the national average.

Roseto has lost its statistical uniqueness. Yet, it makes clear to a visitor that it retains a sense of community--one that would be the envy of almost any place else in the nation. For many families, eating remains a ritual of the communal nature of life here. On Sundays, extra chairs are drawn up and leaves are added to dinner tables all over town for a ceremony that satisfies both physical hunger and the hunger to be surrounded by people who share our lives.

At Rose's Cafe, the only restaurant remaining in town, proprietor Rose Pavan calls everyone by name. Anyone with questions about menu items is swept into the kitchen for a sample. Children, most in Catholic school uniforms, flock in for an after-school snack--just as parents did back when Rose's was Mary's Luncheonette.

A visitor is bound to come away from Rose's with a full stomach and even fuller appreciation how far the rest of us have drifted from the civic-mindedness that marked much of the nation's history.

(My comment: this article is drawn from a series done by The Chicago Tribune on America's loss of community. Other articles focused on our changing urban/suburban social fabric. They noted the social changes implied by suburban homes where the garage is in front and both parents are employed, often an hour drive away. This article was especially relevant for medical anthropology's emphasis on bio culture, the interrelationship between culture, health and disease.)

If older Rosetans are concerned that they have traveled too far down the path of materialistic fulfillment--a path that seems never to end in lasting contentment--shouldn't other Americans be at least as concerned?

We now know that people's reaction's to the same stressful experience vary widely and those who have a greater sense of control, support and satisfaction in their lives are less at risk of illness. Those who get sick most seem to view the world and their lives as unmanageable while those who stay healthy have a greater sense of coherence and control through faced with the same problems. The Rosetans, to put it in Darwinian terms, were a successful adaptation.

A wide range of illness reflects the role that ineffective coping and inadequate support play. The highest rates of tuberculosis have been found among isolated and marginal people who have little social support, although they may live in affluent neighborhoods. This article focused on heart disease, others are indicators of social life as well. These include respiratory diseases, accidents, and mental illness. Studies in England have shown that civil servants with the highest rate of death from coronary heart disease occurs amongst those with little social support. We are indeed nourished by contact with others.

SOCIALIZING AND LONGEVITY

A study published in the British Medical Journal in 1999 found that people more than 65 who like to eat out, play cards, go to movies and take part in other social activities live an average of two ½ years longer than more reclusive people. Simply mixing with people seems to offer as great a benefit as regular exercise. Social and productive pursuits are equivalent to and independent of the merits of exercise.

In a similar study at Harvard, it was found that those who were most engaged in productive pursuits were 23 percent less likely to die than those least involved in such pursuits. When each activity was examined individually, doing a lot as opposed to not much, extended live in almost every case regardless of the activity.

Does humor matter? While it is popularly accepted that laughter speeds healing and fights disease, some researchers say that laugher isn't the best medicine after all. A review of humor research does not confirm a direct therapeutic effect of laughter.

Does love matter? In a study of 10,000 married men, it was found that-in the subsequent five years-men who felt love from their wife had significantly less angina that those that felt no love.

People who perceived themselves as socially isolated were found to be two to five times more at risk for premature death from all causes. Persons with low interpersonal conflict in their lives do best.
 
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The Discovery
Find your true value because life is priceless....too good to waste. 


Imagine your life the way you really want it to be and the way deep down that you know it deserves to be.

At times we know there are things that are either wrong in our lives or things that we wish we could change but we only see courses that focus on individual aspects of our situation. The Discovery Experience consists of 5 days of self awareness and training over 3 months designed to enable you to address issues such feelings of low self worth, weight loss, become more confident, embrace success, develop positive caring relationships.  

You will learn different approaches which derive from Coaching, Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) and Hypnosis, which will enable you to experience success quickly and enable you to:
  •  Use your mind more effectively to deal with any personal or business issues
  • Defuse negative experiences and behaviours
  • Achieve greater success
  • Create the future you desire
  • Solve problems more effectively
  • Improve your sleep
  • Transform the way you respond to life and your relationshipsIf you are ready to live your life to the full, gain the respect, relationships and success you deserve, you can now find the components that you need to restore your ability to succeed. Contact us now to book your place. 
Next Course Saturday 28 February 2015

You need to be aware that there will not be a fixed schedule for each individual day. This is to ensure that each course will uniquely meet the needs of that particular cohort of attenders. 

Your Trainers

avid Owen is an intuitive Life Coach, published author, Trainer & Hypnotherapist. David specializes in facilitating breakthroughs so that you can create the life you really deserve and has extensive experience of successfully working with individuals to develop themselves and transform their lives. 

Eileen Hutchinson is an intuitive NLP Life Coach, Trainer, Published Author & Trainer working with Universities, Businesses, Teams and individuals. Eileen‘s work has been documented on a local and national level. Eileen specializes in helping people to find their unique self while creating the life they want to live. 

You need to be aware that there will not be a fixed schedule for each individual day. This is to ensure that each course will uniquely meet the needs of that particular cohort of attenders.

  Book now to really change your life! 
Email: david@davidowen.org.uk  or Email: eileen.hutchinson@me.com David 01462 643426 or 0797 66 44 88 2 Eileen 07771 825030

Courses take place in Letchworth 10.00 - 17.00

Cost: £250 for all 5 days or £75 for each day
 
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Weight Loss Hypnosis Vs Hypnotic Bands
Hypnosis is often perceived as an easy option in terms weight-loss because there is a belief that it facilitates change with limited input from the individual i.e. the basis of the stereotypical phrase “look into my eyes.”

At present, hypnotic gastric bands are very much in fashion, because it appears to provide an easy solution to the problem of losing excess weight. When you undertake research on the side effects of surgical gastric bands, it becomes apparent very quickly that although the surgery creates an inability, in the vast majority of cases, to over consume food, the underlying psychological issues remain intact and are a recognised side effect of surgery. This side effect can manifest itself as increased smoking, drinking alcohol or other undesired addictive behaviours which give temporary pleasure or meet the underlying psychological needs. In other words the reason(s) for overeating migrate and are expressed as other equally unwanted behaviours.

In light of this, it is obvious that whilst the creation of hypnotic gastric band will give benefits to the client, it is unlikely that this alone will provide long-term solutions. I have found that even with exceptionally good hypnotic subjects, the benefits of only generating a hypnotic gastric band are finite without addressing the psychological “drivers” which appear to compel individuals to over eat. Eventually, the “problem” will override the suggestions for the hypnotic gastric band. I have noticed that there are similarities between hypnotic gastric band hypnosis and the most common suggestion based hypnosis to stop smoking i.e. there is a high fee to be paid and a focus on treating the symptoms (overeating) rather than the cause(s) (psychological).

It is critical that you break the emotional links with food so that the individual can truly be free to choose to eat only when their body needs nourishment. This potentially requires addressing any earlier negative experiences and working on issues such as low self-esteem, improving feelings of self-worth, increasing confidence etc. Alongside this you can then successfully use hypnosis to change eating patterns.  
 
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Conversational Hypnosis
New Course for 2015:

Learn Conversational Hypnosis.


This article from the Times on Saturday 6 December 2014, highlights the power of hypnotic intervention:




I will not be teaching you to become a criminal, but I will be teaching you to become a more effective influencer, persuader, presenter etc.

Register your interest now.
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The Persuasion Candidate...Get the career of your choice
The “Persuasion Candidate” course shows you how to use persuasion & influence techniques based on hypnosis and NLP to always be a great candidate for the post you want to obtain. It recognises that gaining your desired career move or promotion has been a challenge. You have perhaps realised that whilst you can learn from your experiences and/or take advice from recruiters or individuals who possess expertise in this area, the infrequent opportunities mean you really must maximise the chances that arise.
In over 12 years’ experience of managing recruitment and selection, I realised that the pool of shortlisted candidates generally comprises of approximately a third who “will shoot themselves in the foot,” a third who are badly prepared and if you’re lucky there will be a third that remains and who are “good candidates.”  
Whilst it is sensible to focus on preparation based on information gleaned from the advert, job description, person specification, competency framework, organisational information and even practice answering potential interview questions, these will not differentiate you from the other candidates. The process has also become more elongated and in some instances complex by the addition of telephone interviews, the “meet for a coffee and chat” stage, the presentations etc.
In my view it is critical that you put yourself in the running for every post that you apply for because even if there is a “better candidate on the day,” in my experience, if you have proven yourself to be an outstanding candidate, the organisational will often seek ways to seek out other opportunities for you whenever it is feasible. Brilliant candidates are always in demand and the focus on developing skills which interact with the unconscious mind will really turbo charge your performance as a candidate.
The Persuasion Candidate understands the power of the unconscious mind and uses a range of persuasion techniques derived from coaching and Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). It is imperative that as a candidate you influence the unconscious minds of your selection panel so that they must appoint you. I should stress that this is not a technique geared towards manipulation. It is an approach based on the more effective use of language to persuade and influence the panel so that they realise you are a great candidate who must be appointed. For example research has shown that simply adding the word “because” into a sentence before asking for a favour, e.g. use of a photocopier when there is a queue, increases the “yes” response by up to 33%.
Coaching and NLP can also be used to improve how you feel about the process and to deliver components of the process such as the presentation. An example of this is the following exercise which will improve your confidence at interview if you do it every day before the interview:
You close your eyes, see, feel and hear yourself as a very confident person, and imagine:
How would you sit, stand, walk & talk
How and what you would say in answer to interview questions
Yourself demonstrating your personality and confidence
What you believe about yourself and your world 
Coaching and NLP can teach you how to elegantly use language more effectively and how you can prepare yourself to succeed every time you apply for a post. 
 
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What is Coaching
Coaching can assist individuals improve their personal or business life. However many still wonder what coaching is. Many may have tried a range of different approaches but the change that they desire still eludes them. It is as if they see coaching as yet another way to attempt to “beat” their issue.
A common misunderstanding is that discussion, the wisdom of the coach and construction of well-defined goals will somehow lead to unbridled success. I am often reminded of a Council that I know that despite warnings, built houses on sandy land without modifications to their foundations and was surprised when the houses suffered subsidence which led to extremely costly remedial work and loss of public credibility!  

What is coaching?

Coaching is a development technique based on one on one discussions to enhance an individual’s skills, knowledge or work performance.
“Coaching targets high performance and improvement at work and usually focuses on specific skills and goals, although it may also have an impact on an individual’s personal attributes (such as social interaction or confidence). The process typically lasts for a relatively short period.” (Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development – CIPD)
Coaching is also commonly geared to assisting individuals to make changes in their personal life.

Key components of the coaching relationship
  • It is imperative that your coach has the experience, skills and knowledge that will assist you make the changes you desire and that you gel as individuals so that you can work as a team to achieve change.
  • Trust needs to be established to ensure that each of you is open regarding the process and fully and realistically engages to achieve your goals.
  • Empowerment of the client is a central theme of the coaching relationship.
  • Confidentiality is overtly agreed and maintained.
What form does it take?

Coaching needs at times to be a holistic experience where all aspects of a person’s life are discussed and explored before working with the individual to determine the means to facilitate change or greater success.
This process needs to be tailored to the uniqueness of the individual rather than a systematic dissection of all aspects of a person’s life.

The following case studies illustrate my point:

Person A has been bullied at work and has resigned because the bullying has led to extreme anxiety and panic. She wishes to obtain a new post. Whilst coaching will help her to succeed in the recruitment and selection process, the serious underlying psychological problems remain unaddressed. There are a range of key issues which need to be tackled:
  • The fact that she allowed herself to be bullied.
  • Her vulnerability which enabled the bullying to occur.
  • The profound lack of confidence which limits success in other areas of her life.
The change this lady seeks requires an intensive psychological input to resolve the source of her anxiety and panic and the reasons for her vulnerability, before addressing the more traditional coaching input of ensuring that she is well prepared and able to perform successfully at an interview. The skills of the coach, at times, must include the ability to facilitate change in a range of complex psychological issues.

Person B is a surgeon and he is seeking his first consultant role, but he lacks confidence in his interview skills.
The work is far less complex, in that it requires only a minor psychological input, achieved with simple techniques, to resolve his lack of confidence. He broadly requires pure coaching to enable him to impress and sell himself during the selection process.

Additional benefits of coaching 

An integral part of coaching is that you expose your thoughts and concerns to another party who you have given permission to explore, challenge, and question your perception and assertions. Through this process you can define the issue more clearly and begin to define a way forward.
If your coach has the breadth of experience and skill set necessary to resolve your issue in full, your life can be transformed.
You gain techniques and approaches which if deployed, will improve your performance in all areas of your life.
 
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Logic Does Not Stop Panic
Over the years using hypnotherapy and coaching techniues to deal with panic, I have noticed that virtually all of my clients have after their first panic attack or serious episode of anxiety, turned to the logic of their conscious mind as a way to stop the panic or anxiety. Whilst this reaction is understandable, it is generally completely ineffective in the long run. Sadly the initial perception, that this route is the way forward, only prolongs the period until an individual will seek professional assistance to deal with the panic or anxiety. The reason for this initial positive response is because at first there will often be long gaps between “attacks” after the first incident.  
The logic they deploy ranges from strategies of avoidance of the things they mistakenly believe have caused the problem e.g. drinking alcohol,  dealing with certain individuals, etc; through to placing  restrictions on travel & venues the individual will attend etc.
I have found that the main triggers for panic appear to be:
  • Progressive – occur in the late teens to late twenties as individuals become more independent and acquire the “trappings” and responsibilities of adulthood 
  • Event based triggers – events such as death of a parent, becoming a parent etc
The critical stages in addressing this kind of issue are:
  • Recognising that you need professional assistance to deal with the origins of the problem rather than just “fixing” the symptoms. 
  • Embracing the feelings because they are a part of you. The unconscious part of the brain is trying to help the individual. Sadly, its approach is unhelpful and can be frightening. Hypnosis can provide the means to help a person “turn down” this over reaction, so that this part of the brain once again works in the way it was designed to i.e. to keep a muted “watching brief” to ensure the safety of a person. 
Acknowledging that there are treatments which can successfully address this kind of problem.There are some simple things that you can do to improve the situation:
  • Improve your breathing 
  • Deploy techniques that curb your pattern of negative thinking and imagination   
Whilst these short term interventions and a variety of others can provide relief, in my extensive experience of successfully dealing with these types of issues, addressing the root cause of the problem and teaching an individual techniques to manage their life more effectively are the only ways to ensure a sustained beneficial outcome.   
 
 
 
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Neo Hypnosis
Neo Hypnosis
A new approach to success...
The word "hypnosis" still conjures up images of:
  • Machevellian scenarios
  • Loss of control
  • Having a problem
Too often as people we fear hypnosis despite the fact that it is an experience we all have, every day, for prolonged periods of time! 
William Wesley Cook M.D. writing in 1904 said:
  •  “It enters into our everyday life and confers advantages that cannot be acquired through any other medium.” 
  • “Scientists regard it as a natural power, for ages kept dormant, but apparently destined to perform an active part in the welfare and development of future generations.” 
The fear and mystic prevents these advantages being achieved and consequently inhibits us from making full use of our resources.
 
Neo Hypnosis is a safe and practical way to develop and deploy your intuitive knowledge, skills and experience to facilitate greater success.
Learning Neo Hypnosis will lead to improvements in:
  • Presentation skills
  • Persuasion
  • Training skills
  • Influence
  • Sales
  • Negotiation
  • Communication etc
Feedback from R.L who attended Neo Hypnosis Training:
“I want to thank you!! Your course has pushed me to new levels of interpersonal awareness and communication effectiveness. I thought I was a decent communicator but you have turbocharged my skills, my effectiveness, and my knowledge base in a way that I would not have believed possible” R.L. (U.K. Sales Manager)
Shortly my website www.neohypnosis.co.uk will provide more details, but in the meantime you can discover how to turbo charge your performance via www.davidowen.org.uk
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Choosing a Hypnotherapy & NLP Training Course

Choosing a Hypnotherapy training CourseFinding and choosing a hypnosis training course can be very confusing. As a Practice Supervisor of newly qualified and experienced hypnotherapists, I have increasingly become frustrated and concerned by the quality of training that offered to people who wish to join the profession. Frustrated because in some instances potentially talented therapists cease to practice because they are ill equipped to work with clients outside the “bubble of the training room” where all “clients (fellow students)” are fully compliant. I am concerned because the poor quality of training has a detrimental impact on all of us who seek to deliver a competent professional service which focuses on the needs of the client.

Common issues are:

The importance of the Client Intake Questionnaire has been poorly explained or merely skipped over. Consequently therapist struggle to get a proper grasp of the problem they will have to deal with the client.

There is too much emphasis on “suggestion therapy” i.e. the therapist creates hypnosis and uses a script to “embed” suggestions for the client’s subconscious to follow. I feel that this is tantamount to building your house on sand i.e. when the water comes the house falls down!

 Therapists are taught too few approaches to inducing hypnosis which limits their understanding and has an adverse impact on their knowledge and beliefs regarding hypnosis. E.g. the obsession that you need deep hypnosis or that you need absolute quiet for hypnosis to be generated etc.

Therapists are taught that stage hypnosis is the “bogie man.” The profession is happy to benefit from the higher profile it gives hypnosis but it appears to consistently ignore the vital skills for therapists that are found in stage hypnosis e.g. suggestibility tests

 The pre-occupation with teaching Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) techniques. Whilst these techniques can have a profound impact for some clients, there are many clients for whom it is not the best approach. Often they will need regression therapy during which the emotional hurt stored in the subconscious mind will need to be explored and deactivated so that the client is free of the negative emotions or behaviour.

Students are not taught approaches to negotiate with a person’s subconscious mind e.g. ideomotor responses, parts work etc

 There is insufficient emphasis on the nature of different kinds of problems that clients can present with. Consequently there is a misguided over emphasis on such areas as “improving confidence,” becoming more assertive etc. Training needs to cover the specific issues that can arise in a wide variety of conditions.

Students and potential clients need to be looking for therapists who are very clear about their expertise and offer a wide variety of interventions which include a broad range of the following:

Ericksonian hypnosis
Elman approaches to hypnosis
Regression or Hypnoanalysis 
Suggestion therapy
NLP
Ideo motor work
Conversational hypnosis

 All too often client focus is on the cost of the therapist rather than the skills they possess. Students looking for courses all too often focus of the name of the trainer and/or the size of the marketing budget. It is critical that both groups talk to the potential therapist or trainer and go with the one that appears to be most in tune with their needs.

 Next course starts Friday 3 October 2014.
 
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Cristiano Ronaldo & the Power of the Unconscious Mind

Cristiano Ronaldo & Power of your unconscious mind.

If you have ever wondered about the power of your subconscious/unconscious learning, then the attached link is really a must see. It features world class footballer Cristiano Ronaldo. Just awesome:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLGtig_5w1I

 
This is also a powerful demonstration of Synaesthesia.

Synaesthesia occurs when information in two Representational systems overlaps so closely that they seem to merge. When a signal is received or represented in one sense and is re- represented immediately in another representational system. The experience of sight/feeling, hearing/feeling etc. The test for a synaesthesia is to remove the first representation. If the second representation disappears at the same time as the first representation is removed, it is a synaesthesia.

An example of a negative synaesthesia is a dog phobia which may result in seeing a dog and feeling a fear – a V/K phobia.
 
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Minnesota Starvation Experiment
          Minnesota Starvation Experiment - the impact of dieting

The Minnesota Starvation Experiment, run by Ancel Keys in 1944, placed 36 male conscientious objectors volunteers on what was called a “starvation experiment.”

It was found that:
 
  • During the initial phase (12 weeks) the men maintained their weight on approximately 3,210 calories a day whilst walking 22 miles each week – an average of just three miles a day (45-60 minutes walking).
  • The “starvation” period of 24 weeks had the men on 1600 calories per day and the aim was to lose 25% of their body weight.
  • During the restricted rehabilitation period (12 weeks) the men were given different calories, proteins and vitamins to see what would best return them to full health.
  • The final period, unrestricted rehabilitation (8 weeks), allowed the men to eat whatever they wanted.The researchers found:All participants became “physical and emotional wrecks “during the 1600 calorie per day period.
  • The men reported incessant hunger, weakness, exhaustion, dizziness, muscle wasting, hair loss, reduced coordination, loss of energy/motivation. They lost 21% of their strength in the first 12 weeks alone.
  • Psychologically, the men became obsessed with food, meal times and everything to do with eating, losing interest in everything other than food. They reported extreme depression, irritability, and a sense of deprivation.
  • Many of the volunteers came to believe that military service would have been an easier option than their chosen path.
  • During the “starvation period” a plateau was reached at around week 20 and further weight loss could not be induced and at least one diary recorded weight gain in the final month of the ‘starvation’ period.
At the end, when given free access to food, the men were overeating and binging to correct the calorie deficit they had suffered. One man managed to eat 11,500 calories in one day and men still felt hungry consuming twice the number of calories that maintained their weight in the initial phase. They all regained all their weight and approximately 10% more than they weighed before the experiment. Men who had previously shown no awareness of body size and image reported ‘feeling fat’.I’m sure you’re thinking this experiment was shamefully cruel and it could never be repeated now because of the ethical issues it would throw up. However, consider the number of people who volunteer” to go on diets and the industrial infrastructure that supports this phenomenon. The 1600 calories is higher than most dieters attempt to live off now!

This experiment appears to offer a mirror image of the obesity epidemic that we are currently experiencing. As we have become more obsessed with diets, our vision of the solution has narrowed and our motivation to transform our whole life through a range of activities including exercise, nutrition, psychological wellbeing etc has reduced  and our weight has exploded.

Do you lack willpower?
 
If this really was the case, surely if you have the odd glass of wine, you would soon become an alcoholic and every “guilty secret” would become an obsession.  Since this is not the case there must be an underlying psychological or emotional issue that if addressed would allow you to regain control of your life.
Hypnotherapy and hypnosis help you explore the psychological reasons for over eating and give you back your freedom to chose.
 
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